Mental health is important! Talk to your friends about mental health using our guide!
Mental health is a personal yet important topic that needs to be discussed. But, talking about mental health can be taxing. Expressing your feelings for your friends and family may be the toughest process indeed. Some people get uncomfortable with the topic out of sheer sensitivity.
There are several approaches for various people. For example, you can be completely transparent and casual with your friends. With your family members, however, you need to tread carefully. Your parents may not be fully aware and accepting of the concept of mental health. Thus, it becomes important for them to first understand the importance of mental health. Sometimes, due to orthodox thinking, some elders may disregard mental health. In times like this, you need to be patient and hold your ground.
Some key points to help you navigate difficult conversations around mental health
Irrespective of the people you are talking to, whether in a personal setting or on public forums, you can consider the following key points before you begin to talk about mental health.
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Know when you are ready
The most crucial step in talking about mental health is that you look out for yourself first. Such conversations can go either way, from being supportive to leading to another emotional outburst. Know when you are ready. Manage yourself first. If you are anxious or stressed about something recent or superficial, the people may around you perceive it as a passing stress. They may not understand the depth of your concerns. Be patient and kind towards yourself first. Tell yourself that you will not let the outcome of that conversation affect your well-being.
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Know your goal
Understand what are you seeking from talking about mental health. Since you’d be talking about journey and experience, you need to know whether you’re talking for help, support, financial aid or just someone to listen to you. One could also be talking to spread awareness.
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Know your audience
Before you jump to the topic of mental health, try to understand how accepting your audience is. Start talking normally. For a few minutes or a period of days, try to bring up mental health indirectly. You may talk vaguely about your symptoms or how intangible aspects are affecting your mood and productivity. If the people you’re talking to are not supportive of mental health, chances are that you may regret opening up to them. What you probably need is support. But you may be asking the wrong people. However, if people listen carefully and ask you more questions about your changing moods, lifestyle changes, overall health, etc., it’s a sign that they are a good audience to talk to about mental health.
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Wait for the right moment
Once you’ve decided the set of people you wish to talk to, wait for the right moment to open up. Conversations like mental health are preferably done in person. Such topics also need the right mental and emotional space to discover the conversation in detail. For instance, talking about your feelings on a quick call may not be favourable. Another instance is, let’s say your friend is meeting you to pick their wedding dress or to help them distract themselves from a bad breakup. The timing couldn’t be worse. As much as your feelings are important, you cannot talk about your mental health in a situation where the other person has nothing to offer.
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Be direct and descriptive
For your ease of comfort and perfect timings, you can connect with your friends to meet in person. Call them and fix a time to meet. It could be at your place or any private area, for example, a quiet cafe. Once you meet them and exchange pleasantries, be direct about how you’ve been feeling the past few days or weeks. Be descriptive of how lonely or anxious you’ve been feeling. Don’t try to self-diagnose yourself. Just go with the flow. Speak details about how your day passes. Allow yourself to be vulnerable. Draw comparisons from the time when you weren’t feeling heavy. Present proof to your friends so that they too can understand from your point of view.
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Talk about solutions
Once you’ve discussed at length about your feelings, tell your people about what you’ve done so far to combat your symptoms of low energy, mood swings, etc. If you’re seeking help, talk about psychologists they know and how you plan to chalk out the next steps in your mental health journey. If you’re seeking support, tell them how they can be of any help to you. If your goal was to spread awareness or help someone feel less lonely, you can talk about what things helped you out.
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Honour your emotions
During the entire course of conversing on mental health, keep your emotions in check. Chances are that people may bombard you with their set of questions and concerns. If you’re feeling stressed or anxious, you are allowed to stop the conversation immediately. You can either temporarily change the topic and ask for some time. Or, you can schedule it for another day. However, be respectful.
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Be ready to face resistance and/or empathy
Conversations around mental health can go to either extreme. The people around you may need some time to open up. They may also need time to process the information you’ve unloaded on them about your mental health journey. However, at the spur of the moment, they may react negatively. They may come out as unsupportive. They may brush off the conversation. It can be very taxing yet staying calm and respectful should be the uppermost and most important trait. Do not push too hard. At the same time, don’t be disheartened to never talk about therapy again.
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Don’t doubt your instincts
Even when there are certain defence mechanisms put up in front, such feelings are not a reflection of love and care: what makes people jumpy is that they care. You chose a set of people to talk to for a reason. You thought that they would be the best out of the rest. Don’t doubt yourself due to their immediate reactions. Give it time. Give people time. Let it sink in. On the flip side, if you feel you’re feeling more anxious, stop the conversation. Give yourself time. You can resume or choose to not resume the conversation with the same people.
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Normalize talking about mental health
Mental health is not a one-time conversation. It needs to be seen as a more frequent topic of conversation in every home and circle of friends, for example, as one would reach out to check on someone suffering from questions of continuing physical health; so develop the same level of trust and ways to reach out about one’s mental health. Because of such frequent discussions, weak moments become acceptable and create a welcoming space for people to express feelings that otherwise would remain concealed.
Conversation starters
Don’t forget to introduce some of these matters into your conversation with them:
- Of late, I have been noticing a lot of stressful moments. I want to discuss further how they affect me.
- I cannot concentrate at work. The tension is getting to my colleagues and clients as I have missed several deadlines. Can I talk to you about what may be bothering me?
- I may not have gotten out of bed for quite some time. I also seem to have slept much longer over the last few weeks.
- For the past few weeks, I have been struggling at my workplace. Every time my boss calls for a meeting, my chest tightens and I sweat profusely.
- Somehow, simple things take me longer, as I have not done any laundry for 10 days. It was something I used to be quite regular with.
- These days, the gym seems less appealing to me. I haven’t cooked in a while now.
- My friends had invited me to join them over the weekend, but I cancelled at the last minute. They got mad because I had cancelled our last four or five plans. I haven’t seen them in forever!
- Sometimes I just really want to pack a bag and run away from home.
- Some days, I don’t feel like leaving my room.
- Isn’t dreaming and having big goals, pointless?
FAQs
1. I am not sure what mental health means. I have been feeling low and sad recently. What to do?
It is normal to occasionally feel low and sad, but if the low feeling lasts an extended time, then talk to a family member or friend.
2. I think my friends will judge me when I talk about my mental health. How long can I keep on avoiding this topic?
Sorry that you feel you will be judged by your friends. However, you cannot and you should not avoid talking about your feelings and emotions. Address this issue with your friends. Be vulnerable. Tell them that you feel scared to confront a sensitive issue. Consider talking to other family and friends. Be sure to feel safe and comfortable before opening up about your mental health.
3. I have only a few friends to speak about mental health. I don’t find it comfortable to talk to my family members. What to do?
Please seek professional support. Remember that you’re not alone. However, as a primary care, you must talk to someone. Look for helpline numbers in your city. You can also go to a nearby psychologist for a formal consultation.
Disclaimer: The above article is NOT written by a professional. Mental health can be a serious issue. It’s a part of your well-being. Find someone to talk to. Please seek professional support and help as soon as you can.
